Dec 07

 

Hey you, with the red shoes........

Jenny Watson, ALPMA QLD Secretariat

ALPMA conference is over for another year. Trish Carroll always gives a great wrap of the conference, which summarises the conference speakers and their knowledge that they have imparted to the delegates. Behind the scenes the final cheques are being drawn and files archived for prosperity but before we loose the moment, I thought it would be the right time to re-cap the “other” stories of conference.

With the lead up to conference many a late night is had, so to start the weekend at the Hilton on very little sleep and an insurmountable task ahead is normal. The Hilton however is not. It would appear that from our (Kerrie and my) side of the fence things did not look greener where we stood.

Freight. Freight was the “F” word of the weekend. Freight was not brought in from the loading dock. Freight was lost. Freight was denied ever being received. Freight was the bain of our existence. However with enthusiasm we conquered this one and managed to lift and sort the bulk of the Freight.  

A quick change of registration venue from Cloak Room to Secretariat Room was obvious as the sheer volume of speaker’s notes and bags were impossible to shift. But enough of the boring back room stories.

 The MCG certainly was a highlight for many. Both having their photos taken with and on the pitch. Queensland’s own Mary Hockaday was a hit with security as she tip toed out onto the hallowed ground, only to hear those now famous words “hey you, with the red shoes”. Mary turned around to see two burley security guards (liberty taken here) to advised her that the red stilettos she was wearing were inappropriate footwear for the pitch. (And we all thought aerating lawn was good for it).   She had actually thought of going barefoot, but the ground was too damp, so put her shoes back on and tip toed. Needless to say the security guards were only too happy to escort Mary back to the safely of the hard ground off the pitch.   

 
This story is exacerbated by the fact that just before the security guards spotted Mary and her shoes, she had phoned her daughter, to tell her with such delight that she was actually standing on the MCG pitch. Her daughter, with obvious knowledge and foresight, said to her mother, “Mum you’re not wearing those shoes are you??”    Who said intuition isn’t genetic.

 Saturday night brought another embarrassing moment but only for your’s truly. After the disaster which was dinner seating, I was standing up the back, waiting to make sure we had enough room. Previously I had met Ben Price, the Arnie impersonator, introduced him to AV, and then taken him back to the green room to prepare.   Ben (aka Arnie) and I had discussed his appearance on stage, via the back of house, introduced him to the night manager, showed him the ‘bowels’ of the hotel and made sure he knew where he was going.

Standing near the dinner registration desk was Rod Quantock, who was busy making notes and getting a feel for the room.

Next thing I know I’m standing beside a man, approximately 6’4”. Not small in the shoulders, wearing a black t-shirt, a striped blazer, and trousers, with loafers.    Nice even smile, same hairline, etc etc, you get the picture.  (Similar to what we have seen Arnie in).

  

Enter John Chisholm, MC for the event. Introductions all round. “Have you met Rod Quantock”, I say taking him by the arm again. Rod and John approach and Rod says to this man, “So you’re taking the negative for the debate”. Finally, this tall man gets a word in and says, “No, I’m Geoff Ebert, Lawyer”.

Laughter and apologies all around – well from me anyway. How Embarrassing! I had taken a perfectly normal delegate, spoken crap for over 5 minutes, introduced him around, to find out he was looking for a seat to dinner. No this was not Arnie, or Ben Price for that matter.   Needless to say I found him a seat and was actually speechless myself for several minutes – no really!

The attached photo actually proves that I’m not crazy and the two men are exactly the same height and have a ‘similar look’.

  I have plenty of photos of those who tripped the light fantastic on the dance floor thanks to The Frantics. And many a shot of people wearing hats.

 Of course there are stories of who went drinking to “Kev’s Room”, and how many survived the next day. Those I saw I wouldn’t actually say they had survived. There are those that left early to experience the best Melbourne has to offer.  Some of those have not been seen since. 

Outwardly the conference appeared quite smooth, which was our aim.  We tackled issues that will never see the light of day.

  To combat the feeling of exhaustion and sore feet, I’m threatening next year to get roller skates. Just to give you a visual, it will not be Xanadu style (sorry Jonathan), as was suggested, with an all singing, all dancing attitude. I’m thinking more of roller derby style with elbow and knee pads, and heaven help anyone in the way. This style also allows for the occasional tag team approach.

 Time will tell on this one, but one thing is for sure we’ll See you in Sydney 2008!

 

Jenny Watson

ALPMA QLD Secretariat

Co Conference Administrator

 

Geoff Ebert Vs Arnold Schwarzenaeggar	Rob Callendar with one of his many dips from the evening